Always Remember (continued 3) September 9, 2009

After driving around for an hour and stopping at the park that she and Ethan used to have picnics in, Brooke finally decided to go home. It wasn’t until she had been parked in her driveway for a few minutes that she noticed the moving truck next door.

She had seen the for sale sign up for months outside of the little cookie cutter house next door to hers and she didn’t know that anyone had bought it yet, but she guessed someone must have for the sign was gone and people were moving in. Brooke got out of the car and started walking into her house when she noticed a flash of brown hair flash by the moving truck. She had seen that hair color before, but she just couldn’t tell where she had seen it. It wasn’t just your ordinary shade of brown either. It was an inviting shade that both enticed you and made you want to stay away at the same time.

Just then it clicked. She remembered where she had seen that hair color before, but before she could run into the house he saw her and it was too late. Josh was her new neighbor. Brooke wanted to just give a quick wave and go into the house so she could forget all about the day she had just had, but she couldn’t Josh was already walking towards her.

“Hey, you’re Brooke right?” he asked in a tone only someone who is truly intrigued can speak in. Brooke tried to say yes, but she was so shocked to discover Josh was her new neighbor, that all she could do to respond was nod her head. “You’re in my computers class right?” he asked. Again, all Brooke could do was nod in response. “Ya, I thought I’d seen you before and I never forget a face. Especially faces that are as adorable as yours”

Brooke was blushing she knew that for sure, this guy was definitely a flirt, and that meant trouble. If he had have just been a hot guy with no personality that would have been one thing, but this guy was a charmer. He knew what he was doing, and even though this would have made most girls be apprehensive about letting him get to close, it just made Brooke more attracted to him. “Thanks”, Brooke said as she was finally able to say something, “Like I’ve never heard that line before”. Although it was extremely hard to resist Brooke had to stay strong and if she acted like she wasn’t interested she thought he might leave her alone. Little did she know to him this meant a challenge, and just like he never forgot a face, Josh never backed down from a challenge. A quick smirk spread across Josh’s face, but he slowly regained his composure. “Oh don’t worry that’s not all I’ve got, I can go all night” Josh said as he winked. “More like 45 seconds” Brooke said under her breath (just loud enough for Josh to hear).

Brooke needed to go inside before she did or said anything she’d really regret. She turned around and walked inside her house leaving Josh standing there on her front porch. It took all of the strength she could muster not to just turn around and grab him by his shirt and make out with him on the spot, but she knew she couldn’t because Ethan was still there in the back of her mind. Josh was something she couldn’t let herself have; leaving him alone was a sacrifice she would have to make.

Brooke didn’t notice, but as she walked away, Josh looked a little stunned. He wasn’t too stunned as he still had time to take a quick look at her ass as she walked away, but still he was surprised. Most girls didn’t talk to him like that; just as his chase would begin the girl would crumble under his charm. Then they’d get clingy so he’d move onto the next girl that came his way. So, when Brooke didn’t immediately fall for him (so he thought) he was impressed. If there was one thing Josh liked in a girl (which there wasn’t, there were many things Josh liked about girls) it was someone who could keep him on his toes. He liked the chase and Brooke wouldn’t be as easy to catch as all the others.

As she walked up the stairs to her room Brooke caught herself doing something she hadn’t done in a very long time, she was smiling. This was one guy she was going to have a lot of trouble resisting…

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Feel free to leave comments or to add what you think should be added to the story. Thanks!

Barnes & Nobel and My OCD May 20, 2009

Whenever I walk into a bookstore I feel the need to buy them by the dozen. I go in looking for one book that I know I really want and end up finding 10 more that I want as well, but lets face it I’m not made out of money. I can’t keep buying books at the pace I am or I will end up poor, as an old woman with a $10,000 book collection and no house. I’ll end up homeless with books and nowhere to put them (that’s a scary thought). People keep telling me to just go to the library, but I hate the way the books smell (even though I know people who love it). I like my books in good condition. I hate it when books are crinkled and old, I like them new and neat, but that’s just my OCD talking. I can’t control it I like books and office supplies, it’s hard to admit, but I’ll do it.

Wave Goodbye to MCAS May 20, 2009

Everyone always complaines when its time to take MCAS, but I’m really going to miss them. We take them everycouple years and I find that the days I have them go a lot quicker. They arn’t that hard and they take time away from class. Days filled with problems and homework and drama (oh the drama that goes on in highschool) get interupted by days of peace and testing and no drama. Everybody is so drained by the end of the MCAS to argue with each other or snap at someone for something insignificant. Best of all, there is no homwork, teachers arn’t allowed to give it to us for a couple days out of the year. Even though we have to do testing for a couple of hours it doesn’t matter, everything that we are tested on we have learned years before and only required a small amount of effort on our part. I’m going to miss MCAS very much.

Always Remember (continued 2) May 14, 2009

…Ariana, her best friend, pre accident. They had stayed close for the few weeks after Ethan had died and Ariana had come to visit her when she was in the hospital, but when Brooke started pulling away from the social aspects of life she had once been involved in, Ariana couldn’t handle it. Brooke had thought that Ariana was her best friend, but it turned out Ariana was only there for her when the problems involved planning a dance or a wardrobe malfunction. Brooke realized that Ariana could never be the friend she needed in order to get her through the tough times in her life, so she pulled away. Brooke isolated herself from Ariana and the rest of her old group of friends. Sometimes when she walked through the hallway she would see Ariana and they would smile in each other’s direction, but they hadn’t spoken in 3 months, so the fact that Ariana was trying to talk to her was a bit of a shock.

Brooke opened her mouth to talk, but before she could get the words to come out, Ariana stopped her. “Look, I know we haven’t talked in a while and I know that’s partially my fault, but I really miss hanging out with you. We used to have so much fun together, well…before the accident. I still can’t believe it ever happened. Ethan was such a good guy and it’s so sad, but it’s way past time to move on. So anyways, I’m having a little party at my house and I sooo totally want you to come. It’s gonna be so much fun”. The way Ariana talked about the accident so nonchalantly sickened Brooke to her core. Every fiber of her being was enraged. Ariana hadn’t lost her boyfriend in the accident. She hadn’t been in the hospital for three weeks and she hadn’t lost the one person in her life she could depend on. Ariana and Ethan barely knew each other. If Brooke and Ethan hadn’t been dating, Ariana would have never even talked to Ethan. Brooke needed to get out of there, her heart was racing. She couldn’t breath, it felt like all the air in the hall was sucked out. She needed to leave, but she knew that once Ariana got an idea in her head there was no letting go.

Brooke quickly said yes, not because she wanted to go, but in order to get Ariana off her back. Ariana told her the details, but Brooke wasn’t listening. As soon as Ariana left, Brooke bolted to the door. Heart pounding, Brooke stepped out into the courtyard. She couldn’t get her breathing to regulate and she felt the panic attack rush over her. She tried to take deep breaths like her doctor had told her, but she still found herself gasping for air. “In two three four, out two three four” she repeated to herself as her chest heaved with great effort. She was getting her heart to slow and along with it so did her breathing. When Brooks had recovered she gave herself a minute to compose herself and she went back into school. She went to the office and signed herself out. She needed a break from school, and it wasn’t as if she would miss anything important while she was gone, she didn’t learn anything when she was there anyways.

Brooke got in her car and just drove for a while. Driving always cleared her head and she really needed to think. She couldn’t keep living like this, she couldn’t keep fleeing every time Ethan was brought up, but she still couldn’t forgive herself for what happened that night and until she forgave herself, she couldn’t move on with her life…

 

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More to Come Soon…If you have any ideas enter a comment and tell me.

Sweet Sixteen May 8, 2009

You know how when you were younger you always wished that you were older. You looked forward to those milestone birthdays like the 16th, 18th, 21st and all of those other wonderful ones. Well tomorrow is my sixteenth birthday and I can’t even believe it. I mean don’t get me wrong I’m happy about it, but I feel like it’s going to be over and done with so soon that I’ll look back on it and think “what happened?”. I don’t want to look back on it and not remember this important day in my life. I want to look back on it when I’m 50 and remember having a great time with my friends, I want to remember it as a significant time in my life.

“Well, all I’m saying is that I want to look back and say that I did I the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place…”

(Dazed and Confused)

Never Say Goodbye (continued) May 8, 2009

After work that day S can home with me. We went swimming in the pool and tried to think of a way to tell M and T about the plan. We logged onto my facebook and T was logged on along with M.

Me: Hey guys I’m so glad you were signed on tonight. S is at my house and we have an idea we want to run by you.

M: Hey what now?

T: Ya whats the news

Me: Well here it goes, you know how we are going to colleges in different parts of New England and we will like barely see each other ever again?

M: P calm down we r going to c each other again you don’t need to worry

T: No M, P is right. S is going to medical school and she’ll be in school way longer than 4 yrs and you are gonna be in school for a long time too. P is gonna go off to NY and forget all about us and I’m gonna be stuck delivering babies in a hospital! OMG we will like never see each other ever again. : (

M: T snap out of it and P continue on (you see what you started)

Me: anyways back to what I was saying before well my parents already agreed to it and so did S’s.

M: and…

Me: Well we found this absolutely gorgeous beach house in Misquamicutt, RI and the woman heard how we were going off to college in the fall and she ended up having some major flashback to her high school yrs. So she talked my ear off for a good 20 minutes about that and then she said that she knew what it was like and she offered to let us rent it for $1000 for the whole month. And that’s dirt cheap especially since the utilities are included. Houses usually go for a couple grand more a month down there. So we would all pay $250 and then the lady said that her family owned some fancy restaurant across the street from the house and they need waitresses for the summer. We could make enough money for the house plus extra for spending money our fresh yr. And FYI the beach is a total party past 10.

M: ok you had me at party, but idk if the rents will let me go

Me: oh ya that could be a problem just suck up and give an innocent smile and they’ll let you (maybe a little begging required)

Me: if little church girl S convinced her parents to let her, so will yours

T: I’m already dieing in anticipation! What about you M?

M: sure why not sun and beach guys? sounds sweet

Me: ok ttyl girlies bye

So it was set, maybe not in stone, but M could be pretty convincing so we figured she could convince her parents to let her go. Right after I logged off S and I just remained silent for a minute. We couldn’t believe it. July couldn’t have come soon enough.

Always Remember (continued) May 2, 2009

Brooke sat there frozen in her seat. Her heart was screaming, “YES” at the top of its lungs, but her head was telling her she couldn’t, not after what had happened to Ethan. It was too soon for her to be interested in another guy. She didn’t know what to say to him. He looked irresistible in his ripped jeans and black t-shirt. It was something that Ethan would have never worn. He was more of a sweater and slacks kind of guy. He was preppy; he played sports and was a big man on campus. Josh was able to pull this look off, in fact, he looked amazing in it. Brooke looked up, suddenly realizing that she was taking way too long to answer. Josh was just standing there with a puzzled look on his face, which was understandable. He had the right to be confused, how would he know that asking to sit next to her would cause her such an inner turmoil. Brooke realized she needed to answer him soon or he might think she was crazy. She heard the words come out of her mouth, but she didn’t even know what she was saying, when she said, “No the seats not taken, at least not until you sit down”. Brooke was in shock, she had never flirted so blatantly before, in fact her former self would have been mortified, but in a way she kind of liked it. “Wait Brooke aren’t you forgetting someone?” she said to herself. If she could give into temptation that easily, she didn’t know what else Josh would make her want to do, this new Brooke was beginning to scare her. She couldn’t let herself forget all about Ethan, at least not after one guy simply asked her if he could sit down. She decided that she needed to focus on her work and not talk to Josh at all, it was just too risky. Every once in a while she found herself glancing over to look at him. She couldn’t stop herself, he was just too perfect. But wait, he was looking at her too. Every time she glanced over she noticed his eyes were glued to her. Apparently he couldn’t keep his eyes off her either. His eyes looked like they were penetrating her soul. He looked at her in a way that no one, even Ethan, had ever looked at her before. It was as if he truly understood her and they had only just met. He moved his hand and it brushed hers. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it was going to jump out of her chest. She needed to get out of there before she screamed.

When the bell rang Brooke grabbed her things and got out of there as quickly as possible. She was zigzagging through the hallway when she heard someone call her name. When she turned around she saw…

Enter your suggestion for what happens next in the story in the comment box at the end of this blog.

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Always Remember May 1, 2009

Here it goes, we’re going to try something totally new and you are going to get involved. I’m going to start a story and you, the readers, are going to roll with it. I’ll set the scene and let you take it wherever it needs to go. Each day or two, I will pick the best response as the next part of the story. After you add something to the story, pass the link onto your friends so they can add something to it as well. Who knows, maybe we’ll create something amazing.

 It wasn’t all her fault, she hadn’t been the one driving, she hadn’t even wanted to go to that party, but because of her Ethan was dead. It had happened the summer before her senior year and just the thought of that night chilled her to her core. He was her high school sweetheart, her best friend, and because of her he was dead. Ethan would never get to graduate and he would never get to live out the life he could have. They could have gotten married, had a family and lived happily ever after, but because of her their dreams were crushed. It was all her fault, Ethan died, he’s gone and he’s never coming back.

“Stop it Brooke, just stop it”, she thought to herself, “It’s not your fault you didn’t kill him. He was drunk, he wanted to drive home you couldn’t stop him”. Why had she done this to herself yet again? It had been 6 months since the accident and she still couldn’t stop thinking about it. Every time she had just a little bit of peace Ethan was the first thing that popped into her mind. She couldn’t control it and because of it her whole life was spinning into a downward spiral. Her grades were suffering, her friends stopped hanging out with her (they just never knew what to say to her anymore) and everyone in town pitied her. Every time she sat down in class she would drift back to that night. She could still hear Ethan’s screams as the tractor trailer truck crashed into the side of his car. She could still hear him whisper, “I love you” as the light drained from his eyes and then he was gone. If she had have just stopped him like she knew she should have, but he had argued with her about it and she didn’t want to start a fight, so she let him drive home. He had downed way more beers before and his house was only a mile away from the party down at the river, how much could really happen within a mile? So she let him drive, she had been drinking too and he had drove home drunk many times before, nothing bad had ever happened. But this night was different, something was off and he wasn’t thinking when he ran through that stop sign. Maybe if she hadn’t told him she was finally ready, he wouldn’t have been in such a rush. But he was in a rush and that stop sign was just one more obstacle between him and sex with her, so he blew straight through it. The sixteen wheeler couldn’t have possibly stopped in time, the slam was instant and Ethan’s car was hit so hard that it barrel rolled four times before finally coming to a stop, flipped upside-down. The only thing that saved her was her seatbelt, as it was her injuries were so bad that she remained in the hospital for 3 weeks after the crash. She hadn’t even gotten to go to Ethan’s funeral; she was in surgery that day. If only he had have stopped, they would be spending their senior year together and everything would have been fine, if only she had have stopped him, he would still be alive.

The bell rang and fourth period AP English was over, she had spent the past hour and a half, in which she was supposed to be writing an essay on Folklore throughout the ages, going back to that dark part of her past. She had gone back to that part of her life she wanted to free herself from, but that chained her down and made her lay awake at night. She drudged into her computers class and found a station that was partially isolated from the rest of the class. Five minutes had gone by, when all of a sudden she heard a knock on the door. When she looked up, she noticed a tall guy with a medium build and cocky grin standing in the doorway. He handed a slip to the computer teacher, Mr. Carlson, who then nodded at him (in the way only old men who think they are still cool can do) and cleared his throat as he normally did before he made an announcement. “Class”, Mr. Carlson muttered “I’d like to introduce you all to our new student Josh, he’s a transfer student from New York. I hope all of you will make him feel welcome. Josh you can find a seat.”

Brooke looked back down and tried to finish her project. She was just making a new tab on the website she was designing when she noticed a shadow hanging over her. She looked up and her heart gave a flutter. Josh was a lot hotter up close. He was standing right in front of her, and for the first time in a long time she didn’t mind being around another person. His deep brown eyes looked down at her and for one split second she remembered the person she was before Ethan’s accident. Josh had an athletic build and chiseled body that sent tingles into the tips of her fingers. “But wait” Brooke thought to herself, “You can’t do this. Ethan is gone and he was your one and only, you can’t do this to him, you can’t like another guy”. Just as Brooke was about to turn back to her work and forget she ever saw Josh, he spoke, “Hey, is this seat taken?”…

Post what you think will happen next, maybe your version of the story will be the one that actually happens.

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You Can’t Always Get What You Want April 30, 2009

Attending a small school may have its advantages, but there are also some disadvantages. My school has around 280 kids and about 20 teachers. We started filling out our schedules for next year, my Junior year, and I came to find that the schedule I wanted was not possible. The schedule was made for people who just want to take their required courses and that’s it. I on the other hand, want to take courses that challenge my mind and help me get into a good college.

My dad likes to say, “I want you tob be able to pick the college that you want to go to instead of being held back”. He makes a good point when he says this, he just doesn’t want any possible doors that I could go through to be closed. I want to be the best person I can be and I want to be able to choose how I live my life instead of having other people choose it for me. So when I looked at my schedule I found that this might not be possible. It isn’t possible for me to take a class that I need for my future if I take a class that I have been working hard to get into my entire schoolastic career. I mean, I admit I don’t really want to take pre-cal, but it would have been nice.

Sometimes small schools suck, but I guess I’m lucky. I don’t have to worry about getting lost in the school and I know if not all, then almost all of the people in my school.

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Wolf in Sheeps Clothing April 17, 2009

He pulled the sheets over our eyes and told us what we wanted to hear. People liked what he stood for, so of course, they voted for him when it came time for Election Day. Prior to the vote he said he stood for education reform and that he wanted to reduce state spending. Well he is reforming schools and cutting back spending, just not in the best way possible. Thanks Governor P we really appreciate it. Although exact details like when and where have not been decided, the state of Massachusetts (led by Mr. Devall Patrick) has decided that one of the best ways to cut spending in the state is to regionalize schools. In case people haven’t realized it by now, we were swindled. The governor thinks that by combining schools he will cut spending well look at the logic:

*The idea is that we will join two schools together Hopkins Academy and possibly Smith Academy to cut costs but,

1) We will still have to pay to keep two schools heated (one as the high school one as the middle school)

2) Add the expenses of transporting kids from Hatfield to Hadley and vise versa

3) And we will still have to pay the same amount of teachers

How does that cut cost? And does that really sound like the best plan to you? Hopkins Academy has been around 1664. Talk about history, it’s one of the oldest schools in the country, at least that is still around. The school takes pride in everything it does and sends out some pretty sweet scores. The school placed first in the math MCAST in 2008 and in the same year every senior graduated.

Studies have been done that have proved smaller school to be more efficient. They send students out into the world with a better education. In a school with a student population of about 280, students get more one on one time with their teachers allowing them to fully understand the material. In larger schools, such as regionalized ones, there is a bigger student to teacher ratio that allows kids to slip through the cracks. More kids flunk out, drop out, or simply don’t graduate. So why pick on the little schools that have done nothing wrong, that what I’m asking? If budgets need to be cut, try tightening the belts of people that are high up in the government. I mean I know it may be tough on some people if they can’t drive around in a $80,000 car, but why don’t they just test out a Honda, give the car a chance. If the citizens of Massachusetts can drive a $30,000 car, why can’t our officials do the same? So before even discussing changing a town forever by eliminating it’s school pride and everything it stands for why doesn’t our governor take a little time to think? Little towns won’t go down without a fight and it won’t help him much if the whole state refuses to vote him back in!All Rights Reserved